1. Bring outside food to the luau
I went to a Hawaiian luau and saw someone bus’ out the McDonald’s when kaukau time came. To each his own if you don’t like Hawaiian food but keep the McDonald’s out of the building. Eat it before you come or after you leave because some may see it as disrespectful!
2. Sugar in poi
This is probably the most talked about modern day luau kapu among Polynesians. Poi is a bland, starchy dish that’s made from the Kalo (taro) plant. By itself, it’s an acquired taste but with some of the salty Hawaiian luau foods like laulau, kalua pig and lomi salmon, it balances the palate very nicely. Poi is great the way it is. Adding sugar to poi is a big no no.
3. Act Belligerent
Nothing kills the joy of a luau like belligerence. This usually occurs when someone has had too much to drink but it’s not always the case. Some belligerent behavior includes taking over the microphone and acting ornery, yelling indiscriminately and trying to start fights. You can enjoy having drinks without the drama. If you are the type to always get belligerent at a luau, don’t be surprised if those invitations are few and far between. Maybe you should just roll up a sweet one and relax.
4. No bring gift
A traditional Hawaiian luau is always a celebration. Bring a gift. Money inside of a greeting card works just fine. I always used to tell my kids, where else can you go for an all-you-can-eat buffet for a whole family and only spend $20? Hey just keeping it real #feedingkidsisexpensive
5. Make 10 plates to take home
At many Hawaii luau, the host will tell the guests to take some food home. It’s a very kind gesture and one that I love to take advantage of. There’s nothing like Hawaiian food in the morning for breakfast.
And then you have that one person that leaves with the load of plates. No shame kine. They walk out with a tower of plates and all the keiki carrying towers too.
One plate per person is a good rule of thumb. If somebody had to work, then maybe one extra plate for that person.
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that sometimes uncle in the kitchen is gonna bring out Ziploc bags of food and drop it in your lap. That’s a whole different ball game, gangy.
When making plates to take home, be considerate. We all know that the leftovers are gonna be lunch for the host family the next day. They kind enough to share some of it with you so be considerate.
Bonus: Champagne Taste On A Beer Budget
This behavior is not inexcusable and it’s not necessarily something that gets you X’d off the guest list but it happens. I’m talking about the people that buy the Olympia and drink all the Corona Premier. You know who you are.
Look, I get it that times are hard. I’m guilty of this myself in my younger days but one thing I didn’t realize until much later is that people know that you’re doing it. And you become that guy.
And those are 5 things you shouldn’t do at a luau. Are there any others that I missed? What are your thoughts?
The Hearbeat of the Big Island