Local boy Fishing

PC: Makani Kuali'i

How To Tell If He’s A Local Boy

In 1984, a trio of high school girls captured the coveted, statewide Brown Bags To Stardom talent competition with their song Local Boy.  The song would hit the airwaves soon after and the single would become one of the best selling in island music history.

While much has changed in the 35 years since the song first debuted publicly, the local boy himself has been a pillar of consistency.

In putting this together, I came up with well over 20 things to discuss in this conversation.  But I didn’t want to spend the next month writing it soooooo….this is the abbreviated version.

Yes, I could’ve written about how he has a good heart or how he will go out of his way to do things for the people he loves or his uncanny ability to find food for you whether by fishing, hunting or going to McDonalds… but who wants to read about that boring stuff?

So, of course, I’m going to poke a little fun and since I’m a local boy, born and raised in the homestead of Keaukaha…I can poke fun if I like. 🤣

Here are 6 things to help you understand the local boy.  ENJOY!

 

Terrible at Small Talk

Every local boy does this at some point.

When they see their friend at the movies: “Oh, what my braddah, watching movies?”

When they see their friend eating at a restaurant:“Ho what’s up bulleh?  What….grinding?”

(Mahu fam…keep yo’ mind out of the gutter, please… thank you 😂)

When they see their friend at the mall:“What’s up bro?  Shopping?”

When they see their friend at….

You get the point.

Of course, local girls don’t do this.  They just in yo’ face!

“Ai Mary what you doing here?”

But for us local boys?  Small talk is not our strong suit.

 

Always Like “Borrow” $20

If you never had a local boy borrow $20 from you then you hanging with the wrong locals.

Just kidding….well kind of.

 

In local boy language, borrow means have.  Can I HAVE $20?

Sometimes, we borrow from each other and we never let’um forget that they borrowed the money.

 

See them at the mall: “Bro, you get my twenty?”

Excuse: “Oh shucks, I gotta run bank.”

 

See them at the family luau: “The twenty, cuz…”

Excuse: “Oh, I get paid next week.”

 

See them at one funeral: “How’s the twenty from last week, bro?”

Excuse: “Oh, I had to put it in the envelope for the ohana.”

 

I borrowed a lot of twenties back in the day and I’ve always lent out a lot of twenties too.  I guess that’s just the local boy way.

 

We borrow then we give each other the runaround.  In the end, it’s all love…well for some.

 

Overprotective Mom

I get it that all moms tend to be overprotective, but the local boy’s mom will keep that umbilical cord attached until he’s 30+.

 

When dating a local girl, you date the whole family.

When dating a local boy, you only get the mom.  Which should be a good thing, right?  Not necessarily.

 

Mom’s are generally passive aggressive when it comes to their son.

 

For example, when a mom tells her son, “You look skinny, “ she’s really telling the girl that she’s not taking care of him.

 

When a mom says, “You still didn’t cut your hair,” she’s really telling the girl to stop spending all his money.

 

But if it’s the mom of a local boy?  There’s no passive aggressiveness…there’s just aggressive. And they do it with one sentence.

 

YOU BETTER TAKE CARE OF MY SON! 😳🤣

It’s funny and serious all at the same time.

 

But I’m not even kidding about those moms.  They mean business when it comes to their son, no matter how old they are.

 

Terrible At Keeping Secrets

Often times, this doesn’t happen on purpose.

 

It comes out in a normal conversation and is usually done without malice.

 

By the time we realize that we not supposed to tell, the secret is already out.

 

Example:

 

Mom: Have you seen your sister lately?

Son: Yeah, she still not showing.

 

Mom: Showing what

Son: 🤭

 

It’s not that it isn’t important.  We’re just not the best at keeping stuff in.  We’re preoccupied with what we’re doing at the moment.  Do you know how much effort it takes to REMEMBER that a certain piece of information in the brain is a secret?

 

It’s nearly impossible for us.  We’re very good at focus but terrible at multitasking.

 

So if you have a secret you want to tell?  Don’t tell us.  We don’t want the pressure.

 

What? Like Bang?

One of my haole friends told me that every time there’s a situation it always comes down to…
WHAT? LIKE BANG?

 

“No!  I don’t want to bang!” he tells me, “I want to figure out a solution to the problem.”

 

We are a warrior culture.

 

Some people believe there’s something innate in us that naturally has that tendency for conflict.

 

Many of us are proud of that culture but like anything else, it can be a double-edged sword.

 

It can be used in a very negative way, for sure, but when we can turn that warrior mentality towards positivity, we can do amazing things with it.

 

We can work really hard and push ourselves to get a job done, we can become fierce negotiators in a business transaction, and we can even help to teach the next generation how to never give up on their goals.

 

So, to all my local brethren, let’s turn our warrior spirit towards the sky and reach for the stars.

 

Chee! And that’s just some of what makes the local boy a local boy.

 

I could probably have gone on and on, but this is a great start.  What other things define the local boy to you?  Share with us in the comments.